Generally, I sort of hate it that dads are usually portrayed as stupid, NASCAR loving, beer swilling idiots who can't do anything aside scratch their ass and burp.
However, this stereotype does come in handy at any medical office when you're there for your kid. The receptionist is generally a woman, and when they ask those tough questions like "Do you have a co-pay", or "did you insurance change?" I can shrug and say "I don't know, I'm just the dad". I usually get back a knowing look, and am sent on my way.
So, although I am pretty far from the stereotypical "guy", I guess I can try taking advantage of it in certain cases. I just need to figure out what other ways to take advantage of it. Maybe, whenever dealing with a woman, just shrug, have deer-in-headlight eyes and see what happens.
Why is it that many places don't put the cart return corral next to the handicap parking? I think 8 out of 10 times I'm at a store, I see carts around the handicap spots because the corral is about 40 feet away. You can't expect a handicap person to walk that to return a cart, and I guess if they could then they don't really deserve to be in the handicap spot.
Oh, and people, stop being so damn lazy and just put your cart in a corral.
... I'd like to be the U.N. Secretary-General. I think I'm pretty good at "urging", and that's pretty much what the SG seems to do. I mean, I could write resolutions saying I condemn this, condemn that, or sanction this or that... but that takes a whole council and involves writing stuff. But, the SG just "urges calm" and "urges restraint" on things.
"I urge calm with the upcoming elections in [insert non-democratic Islamic or commmie country having fake elections here]."
"I urge restraint to not retaliate against the kidnapping terrorists."
"I urge calm as the militant government shoots and kills Buddhist monks."
See, I'm pretty good at this. I think when Ban Ki-moon gets caught in a scandal at some point and leaves the U.N. I think I'll apply for the job. What's the job do aside "urging"? Not much from what I can tell. I think he does some "condemning" once in a while, which comes pretty easily for me. So, "urging" and "condemning". Oh, and sending envoys to places you don't want to go yourself... like the DMV.
"I urge calm during the long waiting periods, and condemn the lack of care by the workers. For this, I am sending a special envoy to the DMV to look into this situation."
Perfect, or what? I think that would come close to saving lives and world peace. Well, maybe not, but that doesn't seem to be a job requirement anyways.
I wonder if cats can see their reflections in the mirror, or if they are like vampires and, to them, cast no reflection. You can basically put a mirror directly in front of a cats face, and they will act like it isn't there. You'd think for a second they would think it's another cat and have some sort of reaction.
2 earthquakes soon after a nuclear weapon was set off underground. Coincidence? I think not.
Don't you hate it when someone is eating a yogurt and they scrape the container with their spoon over and over trying to get the very last bit from the bottom? It's an annoying sound, and there really isn't that much yogurt stuck to the bottom and side to warrant making that noise.
Fantasy sports is sort of like D&D for those who used to make fun of people who play D&D.
Why are Fred Perry shirts so expensive? I've been wanting to replenish my Fred Perry shirts (I used to have a crapload, now I have none), and you can't buy them in any stores I know of around here (maybe Salvation Army if you're lucky), on eBay they are either expensive, or expensive after shipping and Amazon.com has 3 shirts which are way overpriced.
There is a Mint Oreo commercial on these days with a grandmother and granddaughter having a contest on who can lick out the inside of the Oreo first. The grandmother is lapping at the Oreo like a dog would lap up water after not giving it any for a month. It's freaking disgusting. Her big pink tongue lapping up and down through her wrinkly old lips. It almost looks like some odd fetish porn for people who like seeing old ladies licking things.It doesn't exactly make we want to eat any Oreos, that's for sure.
Is there a ringtone which sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard? If so, I may consider getting a new phone just for that.
Sunday nights kind of suck, since I write bills out on Sundays. Luckily, I write them before Family Guy and Entourage come on, so I can get cheered up!
If you leave wet Frosted Mini-wheats in a bowl in the sink for 24 hours, it smells when you go to clean the bowl.
Where do birds go to die? There are literally thousands of birds in about any square mile. I'd almost expect to see dead ones lying around.. at least sometimes. Or walking through the woods and find them laying all around. Once in a while I see one that was hit by a car. But, with all the birds, where do they go to die?
Just thought of this because I'm in a migratory path, so see flocks of hundreds of birds flying by, and gaggles of geese. I haven't seen any birds suddenly fall from the sky..
Is it me, or is apple juice always colder than any other drink from the same fridge?
I like how every news channel, for every Primary, says how the voters in that state don't vote with polls, vote for people because other states do, and doesn't like to be told who to vote for. I'm waiting for the state which they say "This state basically votes for who everyone else has, and who the polls say is in the lead as the people don't think for themselves in any way."
I think 98% of anyone I meet.. from neighbors to barbers.. after asking me where I moved from say "Why would you move from Florida to here??" in a tone of "what are you nuts?" Sort of tired of saying over and over "It's too hot and flat there for me, I just don't like it", I decided to start posing the question back to them. I started with the lady cutting my hair. She asked, and I replied "Well, why don't you move to Florida?" She paused, then replied "Florida is nice to visit, but I like it up here." EXACTLY!
I think I'll just started saying I moved here from Buffalo when people ask where I moved from.
One of the hard things about moving is remembering what all the TV channels are. I'm used to the patterns on my remote(s) for all the channels I regularly watch. Now, I can't remember any aside Nickelodeon (channel 33). Plus, with the Time Warner digital cable, there are a few hundred channels. Oh well, I'll deal :)
Man, I'm glad I'm not a roofer. The last 2 days I have had roofers replacing some cracked tiles and re-adhesing (is that a word?) some loose ones. These guys are up on my roof, no shade, 95 degrees and humidity. And I'll I can do is look out from my comfy air conditioning and think "Man, I'm glad I'm not a roofer." I give them credit though.. an honest days work for an honest days pay. Not like some people I know who barely work and just collect money. Of course, I'm a white collar guy. I may not sweat, but I think really really hard! I get headaches from thinking so hard sometimes! I may not risk falling off a roof, but my wrists hurt from typing. I don't have to smell tar, but I (did) have to smell farts from inconsiderate co-workers who mistook the workplace for a kindergarden class. Even us white collar IT folks have our own hazards!
Of course, some years ago, I did do some outdoor labor. I worked on a landscaping crew over the summers. I sweat my nads off, but always felt good at the end of the day.
But, I'm glad I'm not a roofer in South Florida.
Has anyone else notices that most news stories these days (at least many I read) are based on things given "on condition of anonymity"? I tend to like names to back up my news... but I'm saying that on condition of anonymity.
Listen people, it is "asked", not "axed"... "ask" not "axe". You didn't "axed" someone a question, you "asked" them.
Do people out there correct this type of "ghetto talk" when they hear it? When people talk like this I just assume they are stupid and illiterate.
I'm on vacation next week!! I can't wait!
There should be a limit to how many times you need to explain something. I'd say 5 times. If you don't understand by the 5th time, and don't know how to ask questions to make sure you understand, then you are SOL.
Explaining things a billion times to then later be questioned about it again is so annoying. Listen, ask questions, understand, move on.
Here comes another anxiety attack...
My hair is longer than usual. It has basically been shaved since I was 14, aside from a 1.5 year period where I said "I'm just not going to cut it, and see what happens" and it got long. Then I got married (with a normal short haircut), then shaved it again. But, now it is at the weird point where it doesn't look good, and is on the verge of being long enough to maybe do a "normal" haircut.
Not sure if I want to just let it grow a little more and do a haircut, or just shave it again. Decision, decisions.
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, the Iraqi dis-Information Minister, is really the comic relief of the whole war. I'm sure we all read/see what he says. We aren't in Basrah, not at the airport, nor in Baghdad. Does he think we, or the Iraqi people, are this dumb?
For now on, whenever I read/hear something he says, I am just following it up with "Yeahhhhhhhh.... that's the ticket!". Morgan Fairchild must also be his wife!
John Stewart on the Daily Show made a good point yesterday. The U.S. Central Command has only asked 4 people to leave Iraq... Saddam, Saddam's two sons, and Geraldo Rivera.
That was a pretty dumb move by Geraldo. What the hell was he thinking? "Oh, my sand map isn't to scale, so I won't be cluing the Republican Guard in to where the 101st is!" Moron.
In Iraq there are 22 million people. Of these 22 million people about 1 million (from something I read) are Ba'ath Party members. Let's just add another million so we have 2 million who are loyal to Saddam. This leaves 20 million regular Iraqi civilians who live under the rule and whim of 2 million.
Where am I going with this? Well, you hear a lot in the news of the civilian deaths (which is in the dozens, maybe, right now). So, stay with me...
So, 20 million. Let's say that a million of them are killed during this conflict from "collateral damage" of coalition doings (not those who the Iraqi army kills for the reasons they kill them anyways), and it ends with the liberation of Iraq. Now we have 19 million liberated people who were not loyal to Saddam. With these numbers, 1 in 20 civilians were killed. Of course, the number of 1 million is high, and unacceptable.. but for examples purposes, we are using an extra large number. Anyways, 1 person dies, 19 get to live a life of higher quality.
Many would say "1 million people!! That's unacceptable!!" Now, let's turn the table a little. Let's say I have you and 19 other in front of me... and I have a gun. I tell you that if you let me kill you, the 19 others will be "free", or at least have a much higher quality of live (Muslim law will only allow so much "freedom" compared to us Westerners). Now, if you refuse to let me kill you, you will live under the same oppression as always, and the other 19 people will just "disappear" *wink wink, nudge nudge*.
Would you give your life for the other 19? If so, then 1 million civilian deaths for the liberation of 19 million should be reasonable, no? It's possible those million would also make the same choice (for martyrdom, possibly).
Now, if we are more realistic, the number of civilian deaths should be much lower, and 1 life will be given for much more than 19. If you wouldn't give your life for 19 others, how many would it take for you to do so? 50? 100? Or are you selfish and there is no number high enough?
Maybe this makes no sense, outside of myself an my thought process :-)
I find it ironic that anti-war protests get violent.
Ever forget you are wearing pants? Ever have to look down and check to make sure? Maybe it's just me.
Ok, there is nothing funny about terrorism or any moronic terrorists.. but in the Philippines there is a terrorist group named the Moro Islamic Liberation Front, whose acronym is MILF. I know if I were to start some radical group, I would make sure the acronym for my name wasn't some sort of funny slang.
Reference: Fox News Article
I have nothing interesting to say this morning. Oh.. my mom got me some wasabi peas. They are good... nice and hot. I've had some before which weren't very hot and these are much much better. Ok, still not very interesting, but it's something!
Mondays are Mondays, no matter how you look at it.
What do most people do with their tax returns? Pay bills? Save it? Spend it? Split it? Seems like I'll be getting a decent return, but don't know what the best thing to do with it is. I'm not too much in debt, but it could surely pay off all (or much of) some credit card bills. I also have some goals, which will cost money, so could save it for that. Or, I could also run out and get a nice plasma TV (which I wouldn't :-).
I'll probably be responsible (like I always am with money) and split it. Some to bills, most to save, and maybe a little bit for spending. I'm just curious what others do, especially in this economy (thanks Bush!).
It's FRIIIIIIIIDDDDDAAAAAAYYYYYY!! w00t!
In all, today wasn't a bad day at all.
This morning a co-worker IM'd me asking why I haven't posted the last 2 days. Then, she commented "you always have good content". And I thought that is a very 21st Century type comment. Not the old "You have nice eyes", or "You're a snappy dresser" (which I never hear!! haha).
Just thought that was amusing... so turned her comment into 'good content'.
NP: Round Room from the album "Round Room" by Phish
When I hear movie ads on the radio, many end with "only in theaters". Why do they say this? Where else would it be shown? I don't get it.
I was flipping through the channels last night and passed John Edward, or SciFi, which I used to watch. After 9/11, isn't the credability of all psychics pretty much gone?
I'm fairly unproductive so far today. I wrote the first draft of an article on file locking, and returned some videos (The Secret of NIMH and Ocean's Eleven)... now I am sitting here watching Buffy. It's too hot out for me to do anything, and I don't feel motivated to clean. I should clean. Ok, just a little more Buffy and I will clean... really... well, we'll see.
Last night we saw a Clarinex commercial. It says it is a non-drowsy medication, yet a side effect can be fatigue. This made us go "huh?". So, I looked on the website, and saw:
CLARINEX¨ is available by prescription only. And unlike most over-the-counter and some prescription antihistamines, CLARINEX¨ is non-drowsy when taken at the recommended doses.
[...]
Side effects with CLARINEX¨ (desloratadine) Tablets 5 mg are similar to sugar pill, including sore throat, dry mouth and fatigue.
So, if it can cause fatigue, how it is a non-drowsy medication? It may not have something in it to make you drowsy, but if it can cause fatigue, doesn't that mean it can make you drowsy? I wanted to ask them about this, but found no contact email on the site. I also want to ask Lever 2000 what the 2000 body parts are... so many battles, so little time.
That everyone in the publishing business seems to have, a minimum, of a week before they reply to emails and phone calls? If you have a deadline, you better make it! But, if you need to ask them a simple question, or are awaiting a response (like "sure, go ahead and write those articles") they take their own sweet time. Get on the ball folks! It is AT LEAST common courtesy to respond with a "Got your email, I am swamped, get back to you soon." As a whole, they are the slowest group of people I have ever worked with.
I think it would be funny to change my name to Mike Oxlong. I can imagine the hilarity which would ensue (say the name out loud if you need to).
Someone: "Mike Oxlong?"
Me: "It is? Wow, maybe you should go into porn!"
Someone: "Is Mike Oxlong here?"
Me: "It may be, but I don't have a ruler and I don't want to see it"
Somone: "Hello, Mike Oxlong?"
Me: "Well, you sure like to brag, don't ya?"
etc...
Also fond of Jack Mehoff... hmmmm
Man, it is hot as hell today.. just as it was yesterday and the day before. IT IS ONLY MAY! I went to the park this morning for 20 minutes, and was sweating my balls off. I hate this.
Someone has too much time on their hands