I haven't gone to poker in about 4 or 5 weeks now. There was an "incident", and I just decided to stop. Here's what happened...

I'm dealing. I have Ted on my right, and Mike on my left. Ted folded and placed his cards in front of him (which is kind of close to me). We play on a pool table, and I'm at the "head" of the table. So, this corner can make it kind of crampt when I'm dealing. Anyways, Ted folds, I throw in my blind. Mike is taking his time.. I think he was talking to someone. While waiting for him to call or fold, I notice Teds cards and decide to put them under the discard deck to get them out of the way.

I pick up his cards, and look over to Mike to see if he's made his bet yet. He hasn't. Then, for whatever reason, I think the cards in my hand are mine. This was like a split second thing. I start looking at them, again, thinking they are mine, and see the bottom card only. I notice that wasn't mine. It was a red suit, and I know I had to black cards. Before I could even finish registering the mistake in my head, Ted gets all "What the fuck are you looking at my cards for?"

I try to explain how it was a mistake.. I go through exactly what happened. I even take my money back from the pot and fold. But, he keeps going on, so I keep going back at him. How many times can I hear "Why are you looking at my cards?" (which were folded, not like I was looking over his shoulder) and saying "It was a fucking mistake, I thought they were mine, and I folded." Then, he starts in with the "Don't get me angry" shit. Like, I'm afraid and that's not an invitation to push his buttons. I was like "Ohhh.. tough guy. Give me a break." "Yeah, tough guy is right." I started getting agitated at this point. Not only was he accusing me of cheating, but now getting threatening. At this point, I just wanted to walk out into the garage, grab a hammer, and crack his skull. But, that's "old Kevin" and how he would have dealt with this stuff, not "new and improved Kevin". Kevin 2.0, if you will.

Then Gary, which I never liked.. he's the lousy neighbor two houses away.. pipes in with "Well, it does give you an advatage." Let me explain something to you here. 8 out of 10 hands has someone saying what they are folding or SHOWING what they are folding to someone still in the hand or discussing what they threw away with someone else who folded (a queen comes up on the flop and they say "that would have given me a pair of queens" Well, we all know there are at max 3 queens in play). And, Gary is someone who does is probably most. So, it's not like on 80% of the hands someone isn't getting an advantage. But, nobody ever says anything about that.. I make a simple mistake, see a single card and suddenly I'm going to whip out a Royal Flush from my ass.

So, I kept dealing. Fighting my "cave his skull" impulse. But, every time I was going to turn a card I'd announce "I haven't yet seen this card, and since I've folded, I have no advantage." At this point, I wanted Ted to swing on me. I'd welcome it. But, he didn't. Finally, I just kept my poker face through the whole game, said nothing, and went out in the final 3.

The game went on. Ted seemed to try to be more relaxed with me, but I was fucking pissed. You don't accuse me of cheating, since I don't. It was a mistake, I said it was a mistake, and pulled myself out of the hand. This is a "friendly" game, and shit happens all the time. But, when it's me it's somehow an issue. Maybe because I won the last 3 times I played, and currently was chip leader... big deal.

I guess when Kevin does well, it's cheating and Kevin is suspect of underhanded things. It's not that he watches poker on TV to gain insight, or reads about playing better, or plays online. Nah. Instead I sit here and practice the art of looking at cards, dealing from the bottom and controlled shuffles. Yeah, that's my plan.. I spend all day trying to learn how to cheat to not lose a whopping $10. I can't help it when Gary deals me pocket Kings 4 times in a row. Or, Jerry deals me a good flush. I can't help it that I changed how I bet, which is smarter. I can't help that after months of playing I learned how they play, and have gotten better in general. Not to mentioned that I'm in the final 3 about 85% of the time, and the final 4 95% of the time.

So, I haven't gone since that week. I'm not going to play with anyone who give me the "Don't get me angry" bullshit. That's exactly the sort of "drama" I have made a point to avoid for years. There was a time where I wouldn't have handled that so well.. so I just started avoiding those things. Back in the wild west, I would have shot him right there. Man, it would be cool if it were still allowed to shoot someone during a game of cards!

I don't plan on going back, which is a shame. I really don't like some of the people much anyways, and didn't really "enjoy" being there. It was fun to get out of the house and play cards. Sometimes I'd enjoy myself, but wouldn't say I had "fun". I certainly don't need the drama or bullshit, or to play with anyone who may think I'm cheating. I actually think a few of the others may cheat, or at least "help" eachother a little. I never say anything, since it's, well $10. I don't say anything when Gary tells Jerry what he's folding. Or, when he's folded and looks at other peoples cards. It's supposed to be a fun, friendly game. But, as of a few weeks ago, it no longer was.