Has anyone ever looked at you like this?

That blank stare.. maybe even the Evil Eye!! You know you need to be protected from this sort of evil. It's dark forces will drain every ounce of being from you. It's happening right now, just by looking at the image!! OH NO!! WHAT EVER CAN YOU DO??

Well, for a measly $26 plus shipping costs, you can order the Red String. That's right, the Red String. A piece of string, which is red. But, it's a special Kabbalah Red String.. which makes it redder than most other red pieces of string. And, stringier! From the site:

The Red String protects us from the influences of the Evil Eye. Evil Eye is a very powerful negative force. It refers to the unfriendly stare and unkind glances we sometimes get from people around us. According to Kabbalah, the critical need to confront the problem of negative influences cannot be underestimated. Kabbalah teaches us that we can remove intrusive negative influences by using tools such as the Red String!

That's right. Through the ages people have been protected by using a piece of red string about 6 inches long. It has scared off the worse demons of the underworld, kept the boogyman at bay, and has warded off thousands of evil people who don't like the color red.. or string.. especially a RED STRING!! AAAIIIEEE!!

To help keep all readers safe from the unflintching Evil Stare of the above photo of a heathen, I feel the need to counteract it's evil forces and bestow the Red String:

Travel wisely people. Carry your Red String in health, and be wary of religious items which are common items sold at 10000 times their normal price.